Meezekiel!
ur mexican arent u?
3:35pm
Ezekiel
yes
3:35pm
Me
THANK GOD!
Where did u find ur fake id
3:35pm
Ezekiel
I was born here
3:35pm
Me
shit
3:36pm
Ezekiel
ask panda
3:36pm
Me
What about ur Aunts and Uncles? They must know where to illegally obtain american identification quickly
3:36pm
Ezekiel
no they took a test and became citizens
3:37pm
Me
IM ALREADY A CITIZEN
i wand a fake id!
3:37pm
Ezekiel
none of my family members have ever had fake IDs
3:37pm
Me
Thats a lie.
Ur mexican
3:37pm
Ezekiel
a fake ID doesnt help you if you're illegal
3:37pm
Me
Whhhaaaa?
3:38pm
Ezekiel
you need citizenship so you dont get deported
a fake ID wont help you if you get caught by the police
3:39pm
Me
Well.. this just fucking sucks
3:39pm
Ezekiel
ask karl panda or the poontang
3:39pm
Me
I did
Tell me about ur rich ancestry ezekiel
Tell me about the calm plains in ur home village
Did your family raise goats?
3:40pm
Ezekiel
nope
They crossed the border then got jobs as babysitters
3:41pm
Me
For multiple children? Is that how they got so much practice?
They're very good with pushing 5 children n a stroller
I'll give them that
But I dont wana know about that
I wana know about how it was like in Mehico
3:41pm
Ezekiel
I dont know
I never ask them
3:41pm
Me
Why?
Ur heritage is bountiful in stories and dirt
3:42pm
Ezekiel
I dont really care about my parents past
3:42pm
Me
arent u proud to be latino...?
or is it hispanic?
haitian?
3:42pm
Ezekiel
yeah I am
I just dont really care about my past
3:43pm
Me
Oh. What about your future? Are u going to give back to ur families village?
3:43pm
Ezekiel
no
3:43pm
Me
Oh
Tell me ezekiel.. how do u feel about new mehico?
3:44pm
Ezekiel
Its a state sean
I dont really care
lol
3:45pm
Me
Yes but.. I thought native mehicans might feel new mehico is a cheap imitation
like imitation crab
or some C actress in the leading role of an A- movie
3:45pm
Ezekiel
Sean I dont really care I'm just trying to live my life
lol
3:45pm
Me
But.. U shouldnt b able to..
U shud remember where u came from
And how ur family got here
Its what molds u into a Mehican American
3:46pm
Ezekiel
How did your family get here?
3:46pm
Me
Oh they got here on a boat
They were pilgrims
They came all the way from England
3:46pm
Ezekiel
you're not white sean...
you're black...
3:46pm
Me
Excuse me?
I've told u people again and again I am not black. I am indeed white.
3:47pm
Ezekiel
but you're darker then me?
3:47pm
Me
My family has a long lineage of deep tanners
Like versace
Except not as orange
3:48pm
Ezekiel
What's your heritage from africa like?
3:48pm
Me
I've never been.. the only part of africa that has to do with me if the fact that my family did own slaves
3:49pm
Ezekiel
Your black ancestors owned their own race?
3:49pm
Me
I am not BLACK!
No. My white family with a deep tan owned niggers
Thats what they called them back then
3:49pm
Ezekiel
I'm pretty sure you're black
3:50pm
Me
I think I'd know my own complexion better than u
3:50pm
Ezekiel
mhm
blackie
3:51pm
Me
Mehican
3:51pm
Ezekiel
meXican
my nigga
3:52pm
Me
Tomatoes Potatoes
3:52pm
Ezekiel
you're black
3:53pm
Me
You're from a village south of America
3:53pm
Ezekiel
I know
you're from africa
3:53pm
Me
No. England
3:54pm
Ezekiel
africa
3:54pm
Me
The new world
3:54pm
Ezekiel
the black world
3:55pm
Me
No. No no no. See my family migrated from the new world to be free of frances tyranny
We did not come from Africa, that's dum...
3:55pm
Ezekiel
You came from africa
3:55pm
Me
You're ignorant
3:55pm
Ezekiel
whether you like it or not
and you sir
are black
3:55pm
Me
If I'm black then why is my name irish?
3:56pm
Ezekiel
My names hebrew
3:56pm
Me
....So?
Anyway black people can't read
I have a much higher than average reading level
3:56pm
Ezekiel
my black friend can read
he reads out in english clas
3:56pm
Me
Dont be silly.
If u show me a black person that can read I'll show u a dead nigger
3:57pm
Ezekiel
Ok I will
3:57pm
Me
I'm hungry
Make me a burrito
U make it best
With ur stone ground tortillas
And carne asada straight from the field
4:00pm
Ezekiel
Nah
make me some fried chicken
blackie
4:00pm
Me
I'll prepare for you a chicken ceasar salad
4:00pm
Ezekiel
nah
fried chicken
4:01pm
Me
that's fattening.
I'm not going to poison u
With diabetes
And early onset obesity
4:01pm
Ezekiel
but you black people make it the best
4:02pm
Me
Yes they do
I must agree
I wouldnt suggest going into a black neighborhood to purchase some however
Tensions between blacks and mehicans r still quite taut
4:02pm
Ezekiel
Can I come to your neighborhood?
4:02pm
Me
Yes. Feel free
4:03pm
Ezekiel
Will you make me some fried chicken my black friend?
4:03pm
Me
If you bring a black friend to make friend chicken for u i see no reason why not.
Will you bring ur 14 illegitimate children
And your madre?
4:04pm
Ezekiel
yes
4:04pm
Me
Oh I'm sorry, *tu madre
4:04pm
Ezekiel
but you have to bring me some fried chicken kool aid
4:04pm
Me
I drink Crystal Light
4:04pm
Ezekiel
and a little black boy with aids
4:04pm
Me
Oh I'd love to adopt.
But all the celebrities have black babies now.
4:05pm
Ezekiel
I know
4:05pm
Me
I'll be a maverick and adopt a Mehican one
4:05pm
Ezekiel
its so overrated
get a puerto rican boy
4:05pm
Me
Are any of ur cousins for sale perhaps?
4:05pm
Ezekiel
a little haitian boy would be cheaper
or a some boy from cuba
4:06pm
Me
No. Cubans r tempermental
Like Pit Bulls
4:06pm
Ezekiel
Not if you train them
4:06pm
Me
If we're talking about children here u need to go for a loyal breed
Like the german shepard..
A brazilian boy
4:07pm
Ezekiel
yessss
or a labrador
a young white boy
no not white
asian boy
they're really smart and they're both yellow
4:07pm
Me
I was going to say. U cant adopt white children. Their parents wud never give them away! Theyr too valuable n life
I do agree on the asians tho
But what about something cute and scruffy
Like a like taco bell doggy
Uhm... a crack baby?
4:08pm
Ezekiel
crack babies FTW
4:09pm
Me
Ohhh they're so many choices. I wish indigents would just publish a brochure.. or better yet a menu so we can better decide which breed of person to buy
4:09pm
Ezekiel
yes they should
we should make our own business
of making those menus of choice for all the adoptable races
4:10pm
Me
YES. It'd be great because the people adopting wont have to actually gooo to the childs country to look them over in person, they can do it from the comfort of their living room. This'll be the difference between blockbuster and netflix.
4:11pm
Ezekiel
We would need a hotline
and an online website
4:11pm
Me
Yes everything is online now a days
4:11pm
Ezekiel
thats updated every hour with new pictures of them
4:11pm
Me
Indeed... itd be so cute to watch those little tykes starve and die of malaria every hour on the hour
a real incentive to buy now!
4:12pm
Ezekiel
we'd have to photoshop the pain out
4:12pm
Me
And the flies
Maybe we could send some nourishment so they don't look so damaged
When I'm adopting a poor child from a poor country I want to believe that child isnt going to cough and give me herpes
4:13pm
Ezekiel
we photoshop some food into the pic so they can look healthy
4:13pm
Me
Great idea
4:13pm
Ezekiel
we dont want to scare the customers away
4:13pm
Me
We'd need our own private plane to send for the children. And a staff on board to freshen them up. Maybe revive them
Should we gift wrap?
4:13pm
Ezekiel
nah
waste of money
4:13pm
Me
Theyd prolly eat it anyway
4:14pm
Ezekiel
we're also gonna need a mascot
how about panda?
4:14pm
Me
YES. every company needs a recognizable face
Oh, this idea is just splendid
4:14pm
Ezekiel
now we just need to find the money
4:14pm
Me
well.. the key of this operation is the children. so if can get em cheap we can have investors clamoring to be a part of our operation. we can buy up all the pregnant womens uterus's now.
patent them for pennies on the square inch
so anything that grows inside is our property
itl cost us next to nothing to acquire a bushel of little paupers
4:16pm
Ezekiel
how much would we sell the children for?
4:17pm
Me
Oh. The younger and less famished looking the better. We could sell the girls for about.. $100,000? Maybe and the boys for 90,000?
Of course the price wud escalate the richer their country is and the less diseased and close to death they are.
4:18pm
Ezekiel
We could dress them up in costumes and charge them more
4:18pm
Me
Maybe even teach them a cute little jingle?
4:18pm
Ezekiel
Of course.
Me
We could even sell the ones that died before being shipped out as little puppets
Or no!
Harvest their carcasses as food for the other children
Cutting our upkeep prices in half!
4:19pm
Ezekiel
nooo we can have a secret website for the pedophiles and necrophiliacs
and the dead ones we can sell for half off
4:19pm
Me
Great thinking!
We can feed the children unprocessed grain
It's pennies for a ton
4:19pm
Ezekiel
Or
feed the children their feces
and we feed them a real meal once a week
so they dont die
4:20pm
Me
Then that way theyl still look sad and sick!
We're geniuses
4:20pm
Ezekiel
yessss we are
4:20pm
Me
I'll draw up the preliminary papers now!
4:20pm
Ezekiel
Good idea
and we can put the money into a genome project
so we dont have to raise them individually
we can raise them in test tubes and have them grow twice as fast as a normal fetus
4:21pm
Me
Yes. Mass export
But wait no!
If everyone has one of our destitute diapers then it'll deflate their overall value. We cant flood the market
4:22pm
Ezekiel
nooo
we'll just put a defect in the babies
so that they will die after a couple of years
and then blame it on the food in their old country
4:22pm
Me
So the family will be forced to get a replacement!
4:23pm
Ezekiel
yes
and then after a while we shut down our business
4:23pm
Me
Becus no one actually wants a Nicaraguan teenager living in their home. they're not cute when they start expecting fair treatment.
4:23pm
Ezekiel
so when all the babies are dead
We open it back up and then charge them double
telling them that our first price was a limited offer
4:23pm
Me
We'll be Fortune 500 in no time!
And the best thing is these kids wont have any rights!
They can be used as slaves
Or tables
We should emphasize that
So parents want to buy more than 4
4:24pm
Ezekiel
We can offer the kids rights for a low price of 75,000 dollars
but the rights have to be renewed every two years
4:24pm
Me
Brilliant
Should we make them biodegradable since they die every couple years?
U kno, be ecofriendly
4:25pm
Ezekiel
nah we can take back them back for a low price of ten dollars
and break them down
to make new fetuses
4:26pm
Me
Yes. Sell the same kid over and over again I love it!
I'll get right on it!
Toodle loo Ezekiel Meza!
4:26pm
Ezekiel
see you later partner
Coming up next time on Dramatic Teen Television Show:
When will the world accept Sean as a normal white American?
How many children will Ezekiel have by the time he's 19?
Will the company do well? Will America and Europe buy?
If YOU had the opportunity what would you use YOUR accessory baby as? A coffee mug? A personal assistant? A house pet you have some semblance of affection for?
Tune in next time to find out!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment